"I Was Told To Put Up With It": My Life With The 'Woman’s Curse'

By Kerrie

Trigger warning: This story discusses chronic pain, medical gaslighting, reproductive health trauma, and emotional distress.

“I would like to go back to all those who ignored and marginalized me and say: I really had abnormal periods—and I told you so.”

Growing up, no one prepared me for what my periods would actually feel like. School didn’t teach me. My mum brushed it off. Doctors waved away my concerns. And for years, I lived with excruciating pain, convinced I just had to “toughen up” and get through what everyone else called “normal.” But nothing about it was normal.

The Early Clues — and the Silence Around Them

From the age of 15, my period pain was a full-body assault.

Swelling: My belly would bloat so much I looked four months pregnant. My ankles would puff up.

Cramps: They didn’t just stay in my pelvis—they twisted down into my legs like knives.

Fatigue and Brain Fog: I’d become clumsy, forgetful, and exhausted—barely able to function at work or school.

Emotional Toll: I’d swing from tearful to irritable. I felt completely out of control.

Depression: A heavy fog would roll in every month, crushing my spirit.

I used to call it “the woman’s curse.” Because that’s how it felt—like I was being punished for something out of my control.

Pain Isn’t Just Physical — It’s Also Being Ignored

At 16, I woke up in a pool of blood—legs soaked, terrified. But when I was taken to the doctor, I was dismissed with a shrug and told, “Yeah, it happens.”

Even when I begged my mum to take it seriously, her reply was, “There’s nothing wrong with you. Put up with it.”

It wasn’t just the bleeding. It was the waves of pain, the migraines that replaced headaches in my 30s, the hopelessness of feeling like my body was broken—and no one cared. I learned to hide my suffering. I stopped asking for help.

Desperation, Pills, and a Brief “Holiday” From Hell

I tried everything: multiple contraceptive pills, none of which worked consistently. Some made my cycles worse—every two weeks instead of once a month. I once said I’d sell my soul to the devil just to never have another period again.

Pregnancy was my only break. After my son was born, I had a 9½ month “holiday” from the curse. It was the first time in my life I felt free. But even after that, no solution brought lasting relief.

Then I found Nordiol. It was the first time a pill worked for me. I could skip periods and feel somewhat human. It gave me a new lease on life—until it was pulled from the market. I stockpiled it. Protested. Begged the manufacturer to keep it going. Because without it, I was back in hell.

No Empathy. No Help. Until It Was Nearly Too Late.

Through the years, I was in and out of relationships where my pain was still dismissed. I had to fight for my boundaries. I had to explain over and over again that I couldn’t be intimate during a period that left me bedridden and in agony. It was exhausting.

In 2013, after years of suffering and one too many brushes with rock bottom, I finally had a hysterectomy. I was 47. My uterus was the size of a 10-week pregnancy. I was diagnosed with adenomyosis. A flipped fallopian tube. Multiple ovarian cysts.

“No wonder your periods were so heavy and painful,” the surgeon said. “You’ve been carrying this for far too long.”

It validated everything I had been saying for decades. I hadn’t been weak. I hadn’t been dramatic. I had been ignored.

A Final Word To Those Who Still Don’t Get It

To every person who said “PMS isn’t real,” or “You’re overreacting,” I say: Spend one week in my shoes and get back to me.

To the Royal Commission of Disability: menstrual suppression is not a bad thing. For me, and for so many others, it was the only thing that gave us a shot at a better life.

We need to stop telling people to just “put up with it.” We need to believe pain. Investigate it. Offer options, not judgment.

Because nobody should suffer for decades before being believed.

Why This Matters

Conditions like adenomyosis and endometriosis are on the rise. One theory? Generations ago, the average woman had 15 children and only about 70 periods in her lifetime. Now? It’s estimated we experience over 400 periods in a lifetime. That’s a lot of opportunity for pain, inflammation, and suffering—especially if no one listens.

If you're reading this and see yourself in my story—know that you're not alone. Your pain is real. You deserve answers. And you deserve a life beyond “the curse.”