Navigating Endometriosis as a Sex Worker
Navigating Endometriosis as a Sex Worker
By Chloe
Another week has sped by, half of which was spent buried under blankets. It was that time of the month again and unless you are bearing donuts and Ryan Gosling films - I don’t want to know you. For many of my friends red week is just another five to six days, navigated with tampon strings dangling from their underwear while never wearing white. For me – that is far from my reality. It would be so nice to have one or two days of pain, followed by the all too annoying bleeding. Ah… Didn’t life have other plans though?
My earliest memories into womanhood were that of unusual pain. The months leading up to my first period were spent in agonizing pain, terrified as to when I would have to don that all too famous ‘nappy pad’. You know the type, the starter pad - to this day I still don’t know how some girls jump straight into tampons. I lived in constant fear that I would bleed through my school uniform, never knowing which day was going to be the day it all began. This pain went on for months, so as a young woman I lived in constant terror. Then when it did finally arrive the pain was excruciating! I was constantly hospitalized, only to have the medical staff always sending me home. When it became evident that I was not sexually active, therefore not pregnant, there was no medical condition they needed to keep me for. The only plausible scenario they could see was that it was a pregnancy gone wrong. Meanwhile, I had never so much as even kissed a boy.
Fast forward into adulthood…
I remember sitting across from my doctor and discussing my fertility – or lack thereof. At the time one of my friends had just been diagnosed with endometriosis, which was something I had never heard of. At her suggestion, I had booked an appointment with my GP. Apparently I just had really bad period pain. “This was all too common amongst women”, I had been informed.
The amount of times I have heard this is beyond ridiculous. My friend however, having received an actual diagnosis, began to contemplate the extent of her possible infertility. As close as we were at the time I offered to surrogate for her in the future (hypothetically of course, I was after all eighteen at the time). Well, this plan was never to go to fruition.
Numerous miscarriages later, it later became evident that my body shared many similarities to that of hers. When she did manage to carry to full term it was the happiest I have ever been for anyone. There is a special kind of intimacy shared between women through the heartbreak of loss - which makes moments like childbirth so much more special.
I didn’t actually receive my official diagnosis until I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to fall pregnant with my former partner many years later. I mean it made sense to be honest and over the years the concept of endometriosis had become more of a frequently discussed subject. Suddenly, more women seemed to be aware of such a condition. I remember curling up under my desk, unable to even speak out due to the pain-related nausea. Holding down a job with endometriosis is hard.
Let me repeat that to the people in the back, holding down a job with endometriosis is HARD!
It doesn’t matter what industry you are in, any job where you need to show up and work while you are bent over in pain can be near impossible. This is one luxury afforded to me with the freedom and flexibility of sex-work. What surprised me the most when shifting… can I even say career paths? Either way the part that surprised me the most was the amount of working girls with endometriosis. I mean when you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense. Where else will you find a job that allows you the financial freedom to take off weeks at a time, without needing to stress about paying that next bill? There is also the sisterhood; I only became aware of QENDO and their resources a year or so ago, so I had been relying on the support of that sisterhood for survival.
Need advice on a decent GP? The girl sitting across from you has one.
Caught out with a sudden bout of painful spotting? No worries, every girl is packing strong painkillers.
Bleeding through your underwear at work? It’s so fine, the girl to your left is already handing you a spare pair and a sponge.***
Cancelling a shift because you’re suddenly in the grumpiest of moods? No stress at all! Management is already typing you a ‘get better soon’ text.
I would go so far as to say that six out of ten girls in the agency that I work for has my same condition – that’s a lot! Though with such high numbers there is also a high level of support - support I never experienced to such an extent when I was sitting at my desk in agonizing pain.
I wouldn’t usually open up about my journey, naturally I have my own identity to protect. However it was brought to my attention recently that if our community didn’t feel like we had a voice at the table, we needed to pull up a chair. So this is me, a proud sex-worker who uses this organization, officially pulling up that chair.
It’s hard to beat the community of sisterhood within the sex-working community, but QENDO does a good job coming in a pretty close second.
This post was written for the QENDO blog and shared with consent, although the name may have faced a cheeky change.
*** QENDO does not promote the use of sponges. They do carry a higher risk of Toxic Shock, please consult with your GP for safe advice on what works best with YOUR body.
This blog does not constitute medical advice and is a personal story by someone living with pelvic pain conditions. The medications, supplements, health providers mentioned in this blog are not endorsed by QENDO nor does QENDO receive financial incentive for these products or by the medical professionals mentioned. Please consult with your health care team before considering taking any supplement, medication or treatment pathway.
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