The Benefits of Counselling (Part 3)
By Amanda Grogan
WHERE
Let’s look at where we can access therapy. There are two main places where counselling can occur – in a face to face context and a digital context.
For digital therapy we have video calls, phone calls and direct messaging either via text or online chat. Especially this year, with COVID restrictions, I think it’s important to consider some pros and cons of digital therapy.
PROs
Flexible time frames (attend after work, when kids are asleep, on weekends)
Can be less confronting or anxious then face to face
Less obstacles (eg parking, travel time)
Access to a specialist counsellor who is long distance from you in another state or even country
CONs
Phone/Message mean body language cannot be read which can hinder the human and counselling experience. Imagine if you started crying, but your therapist could not see this and so don’t respond. I imagine it may not be a nice experience and could even make you feel worse as there is no opportunity for comfort or discussion. (video call mitigates a lot of these cons)
May be some security concerns – particularly with video calls. It’s important to ensure your counsellor is using a platform like Zoom and paying for their secure packages to ensure no-one else can join or access information.
Technical issues (eg slow connection/losing connection)
If you do choose digital therapy here are some handy tips that may help make it more successful
TIPS
System check before signing onto a call/video. Check you understand how the platform works with video and audio (eg Zoom) and that you can easily log in and connect.
Plan for disconnection. Ask your therapist what is best if you disconnect from them. Will they call you back? How long will you try to reconnect if your internet is having technical issues. Will they send a text message or email if their connection goes down? How will a new session be scheduled
A neutral, private space within your home. It can be tempting to video call in your Pjs from bed, and that’s completely understandable if you are in a flare up. On days when you are able, getting dressed and setting yourself up somewhere clean and comfortable without mess and distractions, can help put you into a good head space for your session.
Plan for interruption. In general, you should set up a time and space where you aren’t interrupted and any people in your home understand the importance of an uninterrupted 50 minutes. That being said, we all know that life happens! Particularly if you have children at home, there will always be that small chance. Make a plan with your counsellor so if your 3 year old wakes up from a nap and needs some Mummy cuddles you can still continue on with your session or easily reschedule.
Face-to-face counselling reverses a lot of these pros and cons. If you are able to find a specialist counsellor, in an easily accessible location, they can provide a private, safe and secure space for your therapy. It’s important to remember though, that this isn’t the case for everyone and digital therapy doesn’t mean less effective or lower quality care.
WHEN
Earlier we spoke about some of the why’s of counselling, we could leave it at that and say when you go to counselling is when one of those experiences or issues come up….but let’s dive in a little more and talk about your toolbox and when counselling may be a great tool to add.
I absolutely love the QENDO Impact statement, “We believe that knowledge is power. QENDO has a global reach and we empower people through support, education and guidance—helping them build their very own toolbox of information.” I had never heard of this concept of a toolbox before I started attending QENDO events and talks, and I have not found a more fitting metaphor since!
“It’s a question we at QENDO have asked ourselves over the years as each of us tries to assemble a toolbox to manage our endometriosis, adenomyosis and/or PCOS. The toolbox is intimately personal to each individual, and in a perfect world it’s an Avengers assemble kind of situation - doctors, allied health, and complementary practitioners at the ready, as well as your individual strategies like pain medications, a TENS machine, a meditation routine, a heat pack, a podcast, a tea cup with a sassy quote on it to house your favourite flare friendly blend.”
(Dannielle Stewart https://www.qendo.org.au/blog/should-an-app-be-part-of-your-chronic-illness-toolbox)
I want to advocate for you to start building a relationship with a counsellor in the early days of your toolbox building! As we spoke about earlier, it is so important that you connect with your counsellor. Sometimes with the luck of the draw, this happens with the first person you contact. Other times, it may take a few sessions with a few different counsellors to find your match. This can be the case with other practitioners too – I know for myself, it wasn’t until I met my third gynaecologist that I was happy and started building a relationship with her. This can be really stressful, and often the more negative you are feeling the harder it can be to make those steps and find someone.
If you are feeling okay and confident in your journey, it can be the perfect time to build that relationship– even with just a few sessions to establish connection - that way if you do begin to struggle with elements of your illness, you have that relationship to fall back on and can book a session confidently with someone you know has the ability to help you.
QENDO APP
Another hint for when to see a counsellor can be found in your tracking reports in your QENDO app. For those that aren’t aware, you can track activities in your day to day life - anything from work, study, exercise, social engagements, and medical appointments - the list of what you can track is comprehensive. You can see how your daily activities have an effect on symptoms, and vice versa.
The report function is a fantastic tool -you can generate a report from any symptom or activity you’ve been tracking over a period of time, then compare it to another component you’ve been tracking. For example, if you track for one month everytime you have the symptom of anxiety – and then track for one month every activity you do, you can begin to pick up patterns on what may trigger your anxiety. This can be a great tool to take to your counsellor so they can help you work on a plan on how to approach those activities in the future with reduced anxiety. The reports can even be shared via email directly to your counsellor.
Tracking your symptoms in detail and taking time to understand what’s happening, can help you feel more in control. If you have more confidence and a better understanding of your body, you can communicate your needs to your healthcare team. A counsellor can work with you on how to translate what you find whilst tracking, into effective communication and self advocacy to that healthcare team. They can also pick up emotional and mental patterns that you may not have noticed and ask you questions about what they see, to help get a better understanding of the situation.
Some signs on when to see a counsellor might include intense feelings of stress, depression, anxiety, energy and concentration levels – all of which can be tracked on the QENDO App. The app is available in Australia and New Zealand.
This brings us to the end of this blog series – a quick recap of some of my favourite takeaways:
WHO – A counsellor who is a registered member of the ACA
WHY – Most common reasons are relationships, developmental life changes, emotional + mental trauma, physical illness or injury, loss BUT anything you are struggling with can be your ‘why’. Even wanting more general support in your life.
WHAT – You should always yourself ask after your first session is - Do I feel comfortable?, Am I able to talk freely about deeply personal thoughts and emotions?, Do I feel they understand and respect me?, Has the counsellor discussed a plan with me about how we will manage my issues or concerns?
WHERE – Online therapy, especially during COVID, is just as beneficial as Face to Face – it’s a personal choice
WHEN – As soon as possible in your endo or health journey – so you can build a good relationship and have support in times of need
Visit https://www.qendo.org.au/counselling to find out about QENDO’s new Counselling Services with Amanda or email counselling@qendo.org.au if you have any questions!
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