Endometriosis and Mother's Day
This year will be the first Mother’s day of my adult life I can celebrate and not cry. The past few years Mother’s day has been incredibly difficult, although I still would celebrate my own incredible mother, I spent the day feeling a huge part of my soul was missing. I have wanted to be a mum my whole life. In kindergarten my “all about me” said I wanted to be a mummy when I grew up.
Then infertility, endometriosis and PCOS took that privilege away from me, but I was determined to get that back! I remember being diagnosed with endometriosis back when I was 16 and reading that it was a leading cause for infertility- which absolutely terrified me! From that moment on, from just 16 each Mother’s day would scare me. What if I could never have children?
Firstly; don’t let my story scare you, my story is about hope, strength, determination, support and most importantly- dreams coming true. After getting married because I knew about the diagnosis of endometriosis coming off the pill to try and fall pregnant would mean rolling around in pain each month. So I made sure I was proactive in trying for a baby. We quickly found out I had PCOS as well as endometriosis which resulted in not being able to ovulate. With that, we decided to jump straight into IVF. I was full of hope and excitement, this was February 2015, maybe I would be pregnant by Mother’s day!
But the IVF journey was a lot longer than I and my doctor expected. Along the bumpy road came 2 devastating ectopic pregnancies. How could I come so close to my dream coming true, seeing those 2 pink lines and having my blood tests confirm I was pregnant! Only to have the dream taken away from me 2 times!
Cycle after cycle, heartbreak after heartbreak I started to lose hope. By attempts number 5, 6, 7 I thought this is never going to happen! But I kept faith in my amazing specialist, one of the best fertility and endometriosis specialists in the country who I actually would travel 700km to see.
Then just as I was ready to throw the towel in, my 7th egg collection and 11th embryo transfer I saw those BEAUTIFUL 2 pink lines again! I WAS PREGNANT!! And I had 8 frozen embryos in the freezer! My luck had changed! It was finally going to be MY TURN! It was the best Christmas present ever, and 2017 would bring the most exciting year yet! There was still a lot of fear, but as the weeks went on that fear slowly turned to pure joy and excitement. What started as an embryo transfer, turned to 2 pink lines, then to a rising HCG level, to a tiny little blob with a flickering heartbeat, to a wiggling little jelly baby, to finding out we are having a little girl, to watching my belly grow and feeling my baby move! It has been the most amazing, incredible, surreal 26 weeks of my life! Every bit of pain, heartache and sacrifice over the past 2 years have all been so worth it!
Mother’s day 2017 is one I can finally celebrate! Although the journey is not over yet, this Mother’s Day I will spend 26 weeks pregnant on hospital bed rest, 700km away from home in threatened premature labour. I look forward to Mother’s day 2018 when all of this stress and heartache will be a distant memory! Babies are truly a blessing! It amazes me every single day that I have been finally blessed with our miracle little girl! I walk past her nursery this year thinking how lucky I am!
As I write this, my heart is with each and every one of you out there struggling with infertility or scared of how endometriosis will affect your fertility. Please know that with effective treatment, endometriosis is not a one way ticket to infertility or IVF. Also know that on this Mother’s day you are not alone, there are thousands of women out there feeling your same thoughts and fears. I was one of them! Even though I have my miracle now, I still understand and remember the immense heartache you are feeling. To those Mothers out there with babies in heaven my heart and thoughts are also with you this year. Reach out, get in touch with others and don’t be afraid to share your story.
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